Monday, September 26, 2011
The immortal words of Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, "Love in an elevator, livin' it up while I'm going down. Love in an elevator, lovin' it up til I hit the ground," seem to ring true to all of those who have felt the highs of love and the lows of heartbreak. I have often wondered if Love is really such a bi-polar daimon. I think that both Plato and I would have to disagree. Love doesn't simply come and go as he pleases. Love is a constant; we are the variable.
The thought of Love has been a concern of mine for several years. I have recently reached the age of 30-something, and looking around me, all of those who revolve in my immediate circle of friends, family, and acquaintances are married and on their way to starting families. However, just as many are on their way to divorce or are starting their second families. I even have a friend who jokingly refers to me as his future third wife. In an era where half of all marriages end in divorce, I wonder if I have already missed out on love or if I am just holding out for that one true love.
Mind you, I have loved and lost just as everyone else has, but I do not blame Love himself for all of the loss: I consider myself to be a victim of circumstance. I have been sick for many years now, and that just doesn't allow for meeting people, forming lasting, intimate relationships, building a family, etc. At least, that is what I thought. After reaching that 30-something milestone, I was forced to re-evaluate my ideas of love, intimacy, and family. I soon realized that I was surrounded by Love of all kinds: maternal love, filial love, sisterly love, even Love by and for a Higher Power. I have Love for knowledge, Love for self, Love for my pet cat Cleopatra, Love for family, and Love for friends. The list is long and true. And although I may not have a significant other right now, I am open and receptive to the idea, and that is the start.
Each of my Loves feeds my spirit and does leave me with that wonderful "high" of which Steven Tyler sings. But, that doesn't mean that I have to experience the lows of Love. Recently, I read an article which reminded me that Love is not a given. Love must be nurtured in order to grow, and love must be sustained in order to continue. It is not constant, nor does it claim to be so. I found that the following list could be applied to every type of Love there is, and if it is meant for me to experience that true love in the future, I must know how to maintain it so that it does last forever. I hope that you find the list as elucidating as I did.
Ten Thoughts on Romance (www.wholeliving.com)
1. True love begins with both curiosity about and acceptance of yourself.
2. Heartbreak does more than just hurt. It opens you up to love in a whole new way.
3. Passion does not get lost -- just abandoned. It's never too late to find it again.
4. Celebrate the milestones that mean the most to you, not someone else.
5. Real intimacy is expressed not with more words but with meaningful ones.
6. Love nourishes your soul; passion ignites it.
8. The quality of your connections with other people will carry you further than you think.
7. Touch is a powerful healing tool; use it lovingly and often.
9. Rediscover sex as a source of life-giving energy.10. Sometimes the situations that make you most vulnerable offer the greatest rewards.