Thursday, November 4, 2010

Delayed Gratification

If anyone has been following my life for the past year, then they will know of the great metamorphosis my life has experienced. Last June I made two goals, and lofty goals indeed: health and happiness. But these are big goals and I had to plot intermediate steps between each goal in order to achieve them. How many people really plot out the mini goals in life? I knew that being healthy enough to return to school and work would make me happy, but I did not understand what an arduous journey it would be to get each goal accomplished.
So, how does one go about making a complete life change in 1 year? First, I found the right medications for me to be able to cope with my illnesses. Then I had to get my license renewed and car in shape after being parked for more than a year due to my own fears of hurting others. Next, I realized that I needed to get myself in shape in order to handle the stressors of life. I became vegetarian and have lost 75 lbs in a year and a half. This would eventually add energy and spice to my life as I began taking better care of my body which forgot about taking care of me many years ago. Finally I had to learn to socialize again without being emotionally crippled by my physical situation. I started attending singles activities, started dating, and dancing and even met a friend that I am sure to have for the rest of our lives. I new that I had to start tutoring again in order to regain my lost Latin skills, so I took on two students to tutor every week. I applied to a graduate program and even went on the interview, but without financial resources I stopped the process temporarily. Finally, realizing that I had to become independent and learn to live a life according to what I loved, so I applied for several teaching jobs, one of which I just finished my 2nd interview for hire.
Wow! Much people never accomplish that much in a lifetime! I was quite dismayed at the fact that I would have to wait for two weeks to find out if I got the job. I wanted to treat myself to some retail therapy for all of the hard work that I had done. Pedicure, clothing, jewelry, make-up, and a new teaching bag were all on my list of “gratifications” for a goal accomplished. However, the more that I reviewed the situation, I realized that I had been given my health, my independence, my strength, my desire, and my calling in return for all the hard work that I had done. Gratification was received at every step along the way.
I do not need those objects to show myself that I accomplished something. I already know it in my head, my soul, my spirit, and my smile. Mind you, I still look forward to splurging a little on myself, but I am already victorious and reaping the benefits of all the efforts sewn. In the end, my high school Latin teacher (and Vergil) were correct: Perhaps once it will be glad to remember these things! (The Aeneid, Vergil, II. 232-234)

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