Igniting the flames of the Sacred Feminine: Ushpizot in the Sukkah

There are many holidays in the Jewish Calendar that I find special, but in terms of religion in the home, none are as important as Sukkot or "The Feast of Booths."  In Biblical times, during the autumn harvest when the moon is brightest in the sky, the Lord commands His Chosen People to build booths at the edge of their fields.  In these booths, the Israelite men would take all of their meals and naps in a sukkah (a three sided booth) so that they may watch over their fields during the harvest time. 

Today, it is customary among Jews to build a sukkah in their yards to commemorate this important time of the year.  It is large enough for tables and chairs for meals, decorated with art and the fruits of Israel, and thatched so that you can see the stars from the inside of the booth.  I see it as the Jewish version of Thanksgiving.

During this period of 8 days, it is important to invite guests into the sukkah to join the family for meals, rest, and study.  This seems easy enough.  But Judaism has a way of making even the most mundane task into a spiritual endeavor.  Seven patriarchs of the Jewish people are invited to join in the feast in order to bring their virtues into the home and touch the lives of all those within. 

However, with the women's liberation movement, gender equality, and the traditional roles of women keeping the religious flames in the home, many Jewish women (and men) invite seven matriarchs of Israel into the sukkah to bring their special traits to the women of the household.  We call these spiritual female guests Ushpizot.  The seven Ushipzot in Judaism are Eve, Sarah, Leah, Miriam, Deborah, Esther, and Ruth.  Just as Jewish lineage is passed on through the mother, without these important women, the Israelites would have never become the powerful nation that G-d promised to Abraham.

So, what aspects of spirituality are brought forth through these women?  Let us take a brief look:

1- Eve, mother of all = passion and a deep connection to the earth
2- Sarah, wife of Abraham = nation-building and destiny
3- Leah, first wife of Jacob = motherhood, giving, and selflessness
4- Miriam, sister of Abraham and a prophetess = prophetic vision, initiative, and expressiveness
5- Deborah, judge of Israel = leadership, strength, and power
6- Esther, Jewish queen of Persia = courage, strength, and personal sacrifice
7- Ruth, daughter-in-law of Naomi = unconditional love and the ultimate expression of the Diving presence

As a liberated woman, I wish to possess all of these spiritual traits.  Who would not want that for their daughters, sisters, mothers, nieces, etc.?  Each of these traits brings us closer to the Lord, our family, our community, and our own Divine spark.  Without these spiritual matriarchs, would we even have the Judeo-Christian society in which we live?

So, in honor of the Ushpizot, I would encourage you to take the time to honor at least one virtuous woman for the next two weeks.  We need to keep their memory alive to pass on to the next generation.  Perhaps these feminine virtues will ignite your inner flame and brighten the world for millenia to come.

"Passover" Me

Tonight was the first time that I thought about this blog in years.  It seems that I have been in a state of "Passover" for almost 6 years now instead of just 7 days.  I have had time to think and reflect on life as I have lived it, and I have come to the conclusion that I, like the Israelites, have been wandering through the desert longing to see the Promised Land.

I have been "passed over" for relationships, jobs, family, good health, and friendship for almost two decades.  Every attempt to take a step forward in my situation leads to two steps backwards...or so I thought.  The past two years have been some of the darkest and most enlightening years of my life.  After moving to Georgia for a Latin teaching job, I quickly became sick with a 3-month long migraine which caused me to have to quit teaching again.  However, little did I know that I was needed at home in North Carolina.  Both of my maternal grandparents were diagnosed with cancer and placed in Hospice at the same time.  They could not care for themselves, so I became their daytime caregiver.   After my grandmother passed, I moved into the house with my grandfather.  We had always been kindred spirits, but the last year of his life was exceedingly special to me.  He and I had many adventures together, told each other stories, dabbled in art, shared books, and had many conversations on religion, history, and the importance of each in one's life.  After growing so close to him, I was devastated when he passed on to his Tiny House in Heaven.  However, I knew that he was no longer in pain and that life goes on long after we return to dust.

I soon learned that I had my own health concerns with which I had to live.  I was diagnosed with Lupus and Occipital Neuralgia along with my Chronic Daily Migraines, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and everything that those illnesses entail.  It was time to find my way back into the world from which I had retreated two years earlier.  Since then, I have found new friends, reacquainted myself with old ones, engaged in art, began keeping a bullet journal, started reading the Torah along with various books everyday, applied for online teaching positions, and am enrolled in a class to learn how to teach gifted students online.  I am also a freelance marketing director for a local business.  I have been biding my time and trying to live my best life with debilitating illnesses.

This Passover was one of the first that I have celebrated entirely on my own.  I have seen it with new eyes and a new found dedication.  I have been bereft of leavening for almost 6 years as I struggled with my lot in life.  But, the Lord has now given me manna from Heaven to allow me to subsist until I cross into the land that was meant for me.  I can see it just over the Horizon   There will be struggles, battles, famine, and feasts, but it will all be mine for the taking.  All I have to do is embrace it as it comes to me and live each day to the best of my ability.

'Tis the Season?

I am having lots of trouble getting into the spirit of the season of Thanksgiving, love, and togetherness.  I suppose that it would have something to do with my ex-fiancee leaving me a "Dear John" letter and packing up all of the belongings while I was at work last month, leaving me with about $3,000 in bills to pay by myself.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I do not have a family of my own with which to celebrate.  It could even be the fact that too much favoritism rears its ugly head in the form of gift-giving.  My family and future have been broken, and I feel like little has been accomplished this year.

Then there is the opposite side of the coin.  I have a home, a loving mother, a relatively stress-less job teaching bright, enthusiastic students.  I earned my teaching license (which I just received in the mail!).  My niece will soon be born, and my graduate school has been put on hold.  These are all blessings which I really took for granted until last year when I taught students who were homeless and had very little but that which they made for themselves.  If I look at my problems, they seem very minute in comparison.

So, for this season of giving and merry-making, I encourage each of you to look to those examples of those with less.  Enjoy the little amount of time left with our loved ones this year, put aside pettiness.  As Anne of Green Gables says, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."  So let's make that our goals and aspirations for next year.  I am going to enjoy what I have and try not to dwell in the land of negativity next year.  And who knows...maybe this year it will stick!

Love in an Elevator

The immortal words of Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, "Love in an elevator, livin' it up while I'm going down.  Love in an elevator, lovin' it up til I hit the ground," seem to ring true to all of those who have felt the highs of love and the lows of heartbreak.  I have often wondered if Love is really such a bi-polar daimon.  I think that both Plato and I would have to disagree.  Love doesn't simply come and go as he pleases.  Love is a constant; we are the variable.

The thought of Love has been a concern of mine for several years.  I have recently reached the age of 30-something, and looking around me, all of those who revolve in my immediate circle of friends, family, and acquaintances are married and on their way to starting families.  However, just as many are on their way to divorce or are starting their second families.  I even have a friend who jokingly refers to me as his future third wife.  In an era where half of all marriages end in divorce, I wonder if I have already missed out on love or if I am just holding out for that one true love.  

Mind you, I have loved and lost just as everyone else has, but I do not blame Love himself for all of the loss:  I consider myself to be a victim of circumstance.  I have been sick for many years now, and that just doesn't allow for meeting people, forming lasting, intimate relationships, building a family, etc.  At least, that is what I thought.  After reaching that 30-something milestone, I was forced to re-evaluate my ideas of love, intimacy, and family.  I soon realized that I was surrounded by Love of all kinds: maternal love, filial love, sisterly love, even Love by and for a Higher Power.  I have Love for knowledge, Love for self, Love for my pet cat Cleopatra, Love for family, and Love for friends.  The list is long and true.  And although I may not have a significant other right now, I am open and receptive to the idea, and that is the start.  

Each of my Loves feeds my spirit and does leave me with that wonderful "high" of which Steven Tyler sings.  But, that doesn't mean that I have to experience the lows of Love.  Recently, I read an article which reminded me that Love is not a given.  Love must be nurtured in order to grow, and love must be sustained in order to continue.  It is not constant, nor does it claim to be so.  I found that the following list could be applied to every type of Love there is, and if it is meant for me to experience that true love in the future, I must know how to maintain it so that it does last forever.  I hope that you find the list as elucidating as I did.

Ten Thoughts on Romance (www.wholeliving.com)

   1. True love begins with both curiosity about and acceptance of yourself.

   2.  Heartbreak does more than just hurt. It opens you up to love in a whole new way.

   3.  Passion does not get lost -- just abandoned. It's never too late to find it again.

   4.  Celebrate the milestones that mean the most to you, not someone else.

   5.  Real intimacy is expressed not with more words but with meaningful ones.

   6.  Love nourishes your soul; passion ignites it.

   7.  Touch is a powerful healing tool; use it lovingly and often.

   8.  The quality of your connections with other people will carry you further than you think.

   9.  Rediscover sex as a source of life-giving energy.

 10.  Sometimes the situations that make you most vulnerable offer the greatest rewards.

Seasons of Change

Lately, I have been listening to a mixed CD while driving that I have named “Women Who Rock.” Every time I get to the song “A Change Will Do You Good” by Sheryl Crowe, I must stop, rewind, listen, and sing out loud. I have to remind myself that sometimes change is for the good.
I was so excited over the summer to start teaching again, starting graduate school again, waking up in the morning feeling well, showering and singing of the blessings of life. Unfortunately, six weeks into the quarter, my plans changed. My teaching job suddenly ended, tightening my purse strings once again, losing the new friends that I had made, and regretting the option to start school in financial disarray. But the entire experience taught me several great things: I do have the ability to teach, I know my subject very well, and a little enthusiasm goes a long way.
In retrospect, I should have been teaching at another school at another state at another time. However, life doesn’t always work out as planned. That is when I step back and realize all that I have overcome to get to the state in which I now find myself. I am now looking at a prospective job that will allow me to teach from home (or coffee shop), and in turn, it will allow me to continue graduate school. It will allow some independence and keep me at a safe place while I still need it. When I stop and look around me, I can only say that I have learned from the experience, forgive myself for blunders, and continue to seek the road less traveled.
Maybe there is a reason for all of this change. My sister may be moving into our home and need help with her little one during the day. My family may need me for backup. My health may not continue to thrive. My student loans definitely need to be canceled, and it may just be better off for me to be able to teach on my own schedule when I actually feel at my best. I definitely still need time to work on me.
So now, I spend my days in grad school work, cooking for my family, and taking life one step at a time. As we move from one holiday season into the next, I will have something… make that lots of things, that I will be thankful for. Holiday gifts may be slim, but at least we have a loving family with whom we can share more gifts than we can imagine. Baked goodies will be given, and time takes the place of money. Right now, this change has done me good. And I can only hope that it continues to do so as I continue to learn and grow.